Many people struggle to communicate the message they want. We are unable to control our environment, express our personality, or even convey affection to our loved ones. These might sound like petty things but trust me, they aren’t. Most of the time we are scared of the judgements people will have against us. But I tell it’s so necessary to speak up.
Nora Roberts says “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.”
For sure, speaking up won’t solve all your problems. Whether or not it is fair, not speaking up for yourself affects how other people view you. Your opinion establishes your impression. You won’t believe that I used to be this weak-ass bitch staying silent on offending situations. I used to keep quiet when people would blame me on things I didn’t do or mistakes I didn’t make. Non-aggressive or non-violent is one thing but not speaking up won’t help you. No! it’s just being a coward.
There used to be times when someone would borrow things and not return, times when someone used to make me wait for hours, someone would just appear when they needed favours, someone recklessly commenting on my body, in such situations I felt like high fiving them on their face with a metal chair of course. But they would come with their meaningless shameless “SORRY” and guess what I would reply with ” It’s okay!”
Oftenly we hide behind a halfhearted unreal smile and nod agreeing instead of speaking up what we think. It is going to be difficult no doubt, but if you learn to express yourself openly and honestly, you are ready to let go of the weight from your shoulders. People are going to call it arrogance, attitude and what not: I call it confidence. Whenever I am not able to combat the attacks shows has on me it gets me disturbed like shit, “I could have said this and that”. Not that I am trying to promote negativity just trying to say don’t let people take advantage of your inability to express anger.
Also, the same logic applies to expressing love. There’s this situation of being sincerely told “I love you” which can be very special. Those three small words will give you butterflies, especially when you feel the same.
As important it is to have someone who completely understands, accepts you and you are happiest being around them, it is important to let them know how you feel for them. ” what if they don’t feel the same”, “what if you ruin what you already have”, “what if they are not ready”. Oh, darling! these what ifs are something that keeps you from having your perfect match.
You gotta let them know because you never know chances are they might feel the same. Some people just aren’t the best at expressing themselves verbally. Even if they don’t feel the same you can move on with that. This leaves no room for assumptions and expectations. At least you tried now get over it. So both the situation work on your favour.
Even in your career being opinionated makes you visible, stand out from your colleagues, also having an opinion gives a sign of confidence and knowledge. When I was school when the teacher would ask the questions, many students would raise their hands, I wouldn’t even if I knew the answer. I was scared of being wrong, I would silently whisper the answer to my bench mate and they would answer and get complimented. See this follows you throughout your life.