Whenever I meet new people they ask me to repeat my name several times. I am glad they ask me to do so. Firstly they learn how to pronounce my name and secondly, I absolutely love hearing my name. That wasn’t the situation back then, because people kept telling me that my name was a very boy like name. That comment made feel embarrassed, offended and it lowered my self-esteem. I often complained my parents about the name that they gave me. Man, how do you expect a person to be satisfied in life when unsatisfaction started with your name.
Everyone I met said that I was different. I didn’t know if different meant good or did it mean bad. I don’t even know how drama stirs perfectly in my imperfect life. Talking about drama let me start with the beginning of my life. I was brought in a joint family where it felt the whole market lodged under my roof. I didn’t say it was bad I had a huge family and I absolutely love them. Drama, right!! So, I am the eldest grandchild of my grandfather who was a huge fan of horse riding, boxing and animal hunting. He wanted a grandson to carry on the legacy and guess what happened. “Surprise it’s me !! ”
I was brought up with my male cousins and of course under my Grandfather’s shadow. I was made to compete with them whether it was wrestling, arm wrestling or any kind of fight, that made me stronger than all the girls I had in my class and more than half of the boys. Being brought up with them changed setting in the parts my brain where I was supposed to be a girl. Act like a girl?? hahaha, I didn’t realize that I was a girl not that know what being a girl meant physically nor because I liked other girls. I would run around the ground playing football with them no matter how muddy it got. I came home with stains which were impossible for surf excel. Sometimes I would come home with a worn out shoes, sometimes with shabby pant, most of the time covered with mud and once also with a broken arm. The only thing that bothered my parents was that I never had female friends but they got used to the mess I was. Everyone looks for this acceptance. Isn’t it?
And suddenly, Life happened. I was expected to act like a girl. Walk like a girl not drag my feet when I walk. Dress like a girl they said, first of all, clothes don’t have gender and what I wear is super comfortable, sit with my knees together and something I still fail is “Talk like a girl”. Girls are supposed to be sweet, low volumes, high pitches soft and gentle. Oops, not in my operating system. Yes, being this way didn’t get a lot of attention even if I got any by chance it was about criticizing about the way I am.
Remember You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. Not being comfortable about what you are and who you are is the loneliest thing that could ever happen to you. For once, believe that you are beautiful and so will the rest of the world. Being able to laugh at yourself is a blessing I promise it’s not something everyone can do. Once you love yourself you teach people how to love you. Being different is beautiful because being normal is too mainstream.